Wow, That Happened Fast


I was hoping that by February 1, I would be able to reverse the scale and see the regained pounds drop back off with going back to lower carb eating on an intermittent fasting type daily schedule plus exercise. Instead, the scale has kept moving upward, ticking pound after pound onto my body. I'm not liking that but apparently not unhappy enough about it to work harder on weight loss. If I seem ambivalent, I am. The only thing that makes me stop and think and feel a little anxiety about my weight is getting closer and closer to 200 pounds. I worked so hard to get this weight off and I know from past experience that it can easily come right back, one tiny bit at a time, almost unnoticed... especially if I avoid the scale and get in the "maybe tomorrow" mindset. Plus there's the clothing issue.

The phentermine isn't making any difference, so far. The skipping breakfast most days isn't, either, but I am eating much larger portions for lunch and dinner now, including sweets and starchy breads and potatoes. I have the knowledge to fix this but not the drive. Aside from the accident recovery which is still taking place and the new limits on what I can wear, I'm happy. I wake up smiling and go to bed content. I sleep well. My days are busy in the most fulfilling way. I do spend more time eating socially now, but I have not kept my small portions/lower carb limits in place for those occasions. And exercise still hurts, so I avoid it.

Today the scale says 194 pounds. I am up 19 pounds from my low in the fall. I am just going to have to jump in and do this regardless of my feelings about it. I will be more motivated to keep going once I see some results. I forgot all about my line in the sand and it's time to pay attention again.



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